[NOTE: This has been sat in drafts a fair while because I was a little embarassed how little I claimed to have learnt that was of any value. Also it wasn't very funny. I'll just add the disclaimer that this (probably) isn't a comprehensive list.]
- that awesome trick where you spin a pen ’round your thumb
- how to tie a bow tie whilst cycling a bike (which may be the most quintessentially Oxford skill I’ve ever contemplated)
- that even eminent professors are susceptible to Pavlovian brainwashing
- nobody really knows what they are doing – success is just about pretending convincingly
- eventually though, pretending can actually lead to knowing what you’re doing
- if you make your field of expertise specific enough; yep, you’re a world expert (for example, this guy: http://www.peterrg.com/ a pal of mine, is one of the few non-Marshallese folks who can speak Marshallese.. as such, he knows the field far better than anybody who could possibly examine his DPhil.. which made his viva a little moot perhaps).. [horay, unexpected pun]
- how to distinguish a Canadian from an American. This is simultaneously easier and harder than it might seem, for example: Canadians do not actually say “aboot” instead of “about”, but they do say “eh” quite regularly. Best test: mention maple syrup quietly and offhandedly, any Canadian in a 100 metre radius will have heard you.
- that “studying for a doctorate in physics, specifically optoelectronics for application in photovoltaics with a mind to increased renewable energy uptake” doesn’t sound nearly as good in a bar as “basically, I’m saving the world”
- you only have to be respectable until you get tenure, then you can go right back to delivering lectures in shorts and writing said lectures in comic sans (yes, Supervisor is guilty of both of these – I actually have the completely sincere worry that maybe if I apply for some prestigious fellowship at any point he’ll send his reference in comic sans)
- probably some stuff about physics..
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